Flintstones Push Up Pops: The Dessert of Kings

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As OJ and purple stuff paled compared to the Sunny D that kids were seeking in the fridge, where frozen treats were concerned regular popsicles and Fla-vor-Ice couldn’t hold a proverbial candle to Flintstones Push Up Pops. Push Up Pops were a top shelf item of any grocery store trip, a no brainer to fill one of the few non-essential grocery slots mom would allow on a given trip. 

They were the sort of thing that my brain associated with a special treat, unlike say chips or cookies.  Those were fine but they were always around. Flintstones Pops were the sort of thing you always wanted more of but knew you could only have one. There were only six in a package, so eating several meant that your sisters didn’t get their share or if it was at a friend’s house you were hogging something their parents would have to replenish. 

Flintstones Push Up Pops were introduced around 1990 and stuck around at least into the late 90s. They weren’t really a new product; Nestle was already producing the pops, and just rebranded them as Flintstones ones. They still exist today in a limited non-Flintstones form, but what’s the point? Are we supposed to believe stupid old orange is fit to carry the wrapper of Yabba Dabba Do Orange? As if lime could taste half as good without a drawing of Wilma on the side? How dare you even think that, Nestle Corporation. Some people believe that marketing isn’t effective on them and maybe that’s true, but when you’re ten boy howdy does it work. You’re practically begging big companies to sell things to your mom and dad through you to then give to you, because you are small and have a small brain and poor impulse control and no money. But can you ever plead. By ten years old I was pleading at an 8th grade level. I didn’t even care about the Flintstones, they didn’t matter at all to me. Didn’t care about the cartoon, the movie that came out in 1994, none of it. But when it came to Flintstones hawking sherbet, it mattered. It mattered a damn lot. 

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GTFOH with your non-branded pops

Marketing was COOL. The kids in the commercials skateboarded, and the cartoon characters skateboarded, and everybody had bright colors on because they were cool and it made them easier to see while walking at night. That was my crowd, even though I didn’t skateboard or hang out with cartoons. I was a Genesis playing, shooting baskets alone in my driveway for hours, briefly trying to wear my shirts backwards because of Kriss Kross, 4th grade Catholic elementary school badass. I had to have my push up pops. And mom came through, BIG TIME. 

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The Cool Cream ones were also good.

Flintstone Push-Up Pops was a top five all time frozen treat, and one of my favorite childhood foods, period. Discontinuing them is the third worst thing Nestle has ever done, after exploiting child labor in Africa and buying up all the fresh water near Flint, Michigan. I mean, obviously it’s a very distant third, but it’s on the board. 

What was your favorite childhood frozen treat? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter.

Hey it’s still Christmas, sort of. Maybe you want to watch the story of Christmas as it existed before Christ? Then check out the movie below. 80s Baby may receive a commission. 

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